In My Mind...

I was thinking of Heather Headleys song this morning (see heading of this blog) when I was chatting with this guy on line and after giving him a piece of my mind (and liver), I felt I needed to spit out some crap many gay men I know put forth.
He meets this guy he hasnt seen since High school. The guy happened to have been his coach who by the way was married. They spend ONE weekend together and BANG, INSTANT BOYFRIEND AND RELATIONSHIP. Can anyone tell me how that works because I think I missed that class.
The fact that I am writing again after only 15 hours lets me know I feel very strongly and passionately about this. Why doesnt ANYONE want to date and get to KNOW who they are with before claiming they have a boyfriend?
I tend to think its the instant gratification that gay men FEEL they are entitled to given the fact that they have no responsibilty other than themselves. REady cash, hours and hours at the gym, cruise bars, primping and fluffing up like a rooster in heat ready to put on the next costume to see who they can snag. IT all good though if you know what it means and what yer seeking. HOWEVER, if you want to be someones lover you have to love yourself and RESPECT you for YOU just AS you are. IF you cant even stand up for yourself and explore what you want, how can you EVER be anyones partner, lover, leatherboy, spouse, etc. I dont understand why guys dont want to take time to DATE someone..Dating is the BEST and FUN part of a relationship. YOu still have time to and for yourself and you also have the fun of sharing SOME of your time with a guy you CHOOSE to share that space and time WITH. Why does it have to be that you have a great weekend of sex and then its BANG, instant relationship? I NEVER have understood that.
I know I have saved myself ALOT of grief by sticking to that even though its no guarantee for the future but at least you give yourself a fighting chance for happiness by taking your time. I prefer dating several guys and continue to meet others until I am SURE for myself that this is the guy I am choosing to be with because I feel hes a good match for me and because I REALLY want him, NOT that I need him. BIG BIG DIFFERENCE. Need is something you HAVE to have to survive, like food and water and sleep. Want is a conscious choice I make based on how I relate to that object or person. We all have baggage but I am trying to find a guy whos baggage fits well with mine!! If I can find that before I get too old then I am FORTUNATE indeed.
IF all we REALLY have is love, then why do men keep trying to sabotage themselves? Why do they get involved without taking the time to get to know who they are with? Why do they judge everything on sex? Most importantly, why do they continually choose the wrong person even when they KNOW they are settling AND making a mistake AND in addtiton, the right guy is directly next TO them and will pass him up to pick the WRONG one?? That one just doesnt compute to me, in my mind...........