Sunday, December 07, 2008

How Far We've Come

Damn Damn long since I last wrote. My frined rick Force here in FT Lauderdale died of AIDS related cancer. He was only hiv for 3 years but he did tons of crystal meth, Tina, or as I call it, the devil itself.
A part of me was very sad and another, very angry. I say it a thousand time but I will say it again; I don't get it..
I've been drafted into running for a leather title..yeah I know.. I am always bitching about titles but this time if I won it I would be working for the community, not promoting myself. My ego isnt that big and its not about me..I am wokring at the Gay Community Center here in FT Lauderdale and I answer the main switchboard phones. I am LOVING it and I am meeting a great bunch of guys who DONT go to bars; DONT do the "scene" but have lives that DONT revolve around the word gay and I am REALLY enjoying myself. In the past 3 months I have received 2 certificates of appreciation by the Center for my volunteer work so I must be doing it right.
I got invited for Thanksgiving dinner and I had a fantastic time. I have lived in Ft Lauderdale over 8 yrs and this was the first invitation for a holiday dinner I have ever had. I was thankful that everyone invited was single so I didnt have to be the third wheel on a boat full of couples. LOL ... I have been dating on and off, get taken out to dinner, am getting hit on left right and sideways; actually moreso now than 20 yrs ago..Damn I must look good...LOL.
I am now at the point where I am requesting the universe to send me the RIGHT guy ....the guy that I would have my last long term relationship with for after all, at almost 55, I am not going to live forever and I would want this time to last for the rest of my life..for however long that is...and since this is one thing beyond my control theres no point in me getting nervous or upset. It is what it is..If I never find him then it wasnt meant to happen but it sure would be nice to be in love again... I was getting to that point with David but he bolted..I think we would have had a great life together..I think the universe used me to teach him something....because I didnt learn a damn I take that back.. I learned that I was capable of feeling love; that I was even willing to go into the frigid north to be with him....but he didnt stay, chased me away and he made sure it wasnt meant to be...
I havent yet decided what Xmas will be yet. I am having a big Xmas party at my home on the 20th. That should be tons of fun..I am nejoying my Hybrid getting 61 MPG and I gas up once every 6 weeks...but I did buy a second car...I like the sport around town with my small jepe down sides off and its perfect in the tropical winter here..well thats if you want to call it winter...
I am going to make more of an effort to write..It does free me in so many ways I cant explain..
Cath you later...


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