Tuesday, March 20, 2007


That word seems to be the gay anthem of life and the very existance of what and who we are as men. Little regard exists for anything other than getting off. I had this guy on line give me as his first line " how hung, you top and wanna fuck?" Thats all he said. I go to check him out and the jerk has a lover. I simply wrote him back that I didnt understand how you could give your heart to someone then give your ass to everyone else. Of course I got no response back. He moved on.
I just dont get it. Guys dont date anymore. They get laid and get off in any way they can. The big misnomer is the open relationship bullshit. I think thats a term made up by fags who have a lover and then get to act like they're single when they get tired of having sex with the guy THEY chose as their lover. Now heres the REALLY fucked up part. They go on line as I do (I am single) and they get all the ass they want from other men both single and partnered and *I* get passed up because I want more than a quick fuck. Most of them arent capable of wanting or giving anything other than their ass for an hour or two. I truly believe that their way is easier but it isnt better. Not in the long run. In the short term they get off but thats all they get..OFF !! By the same token that doesnt leave me with much hope now does it? AS I get older I will have less and less opportunity to find someone because as we ALL know youth wins out. The physical beauty of a guy will far surpass substance. Again at least in the short term but what the hell. Even if they make a mistake they have many years in front of them to find someone. I dont have that option or luxury anymore and I doubt that other than my memories I will have little to look forward to. IF you look at all the single old gay men who go to the wrinkle rooms and bars for dinner and the like, it bears me out to be right. MOST of my generation of gay men died long ago from AIDS in that first and second wave which hit the gay community hard and without any mercy. Sometimes I wish I had gone with them because the present prospects for the last 25 or 35 years of my life SUCK!! I have already made peace with the fact that I will be single for whatever time I have left on this earth; not of friends but of a special man to share my remaining time with. Lets face facts. Intimacy and monogamy are indeed Gay curse words. ITs not that I have little faith in myself. Thats not the issue. I have little faith in gay men and no one has yet to prove me wrong. No one wants to date and the guys that do, live 1/2 way across the country and guys dont move just to date. You either live local or you dont and most men who have lives and jobs cant just pick up stakes and start over at 40, 45 or 50. ITs just not feasible so when you look at all these factors it doesnt look good for men like me who are in my situation.
It gets very frustrating for me especially when I see guy in so called long term relationships, married to their men, partnered or whatever other term they use and they are hitting on EVERYONE to get laid while the lover is at work, out of town or they are out of town. To me its simply VILE and disgusting. Here I am and I cant even get a date. Being a leatherman just complicates everything. Bottoms are easy to find but boys.. I wont even go there. I CAN get laid every night of the week or even several times a day. I can go on line and get someone ot come over in less than 15 minutes but ask for a date and they click me off. I cant even get them to meet me on the outside before I ask them to come back for a fuck. They want to come right over and get right down to it. PERIOD!! Booty call wont work for me anyone. You want THAT kind of sex then be willing to pay me for it. I keep busy with my friends and projects to fill up my time and I learn things to occupy my interests and my mind. If thats what my life is to be for whats left of it then so be it. I am doing the best I can..Thats all I can do..


At 10:48 PM, Blogger crescent said...

I applaud your honest evaluation of the world today, but as you said to me recently, there are lots of houses on the market but you only need one person to fall in love with it, and they will love the creek in the floor and the notch by the fireplace. Don't give up hope Sir, there is change coming in the world consciousness. Like energy attracts like energy if you believe there is a man out there for you he will find you... if you believe he does not exist, that energy will drive him in another direction.


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