Friday, March 09, 2007

Union OF The Snake...

Since I last entered in here, nothing much has happened; well other than getting rid of my house in NYC and getting a new series of inkwork on my right arm up to my shoulder and around to my back. I saw my ex at a local dance place and it was rewarding to see how time HASNT been good to him. They say the best revenge is living well.
I am getting real tired of online ANYTHING these days. I get guys who want to go out with me who live in Kuala Lampur, Indonesia, Istanbul Turkey, Lima Peru among many other places. I dont get it. I have no intention of sending a plane ticket to a total stranger. Most of them dont even show a pic or if they do its a body part, if you get the drift. No face just a body part..LOSERS.
Then there are the guys who live in the same state as fact I had this one guy who lived literally across the street..less than 50 feet and it took him 6 months to meet me. THEN he vanished for another YEAR then all of a sudden he wanted to get together. I told him to GET LOST, actually I told him to F*CK OFF..
Then I met this other guy who I hit it off with from the West Coast of Fla. WE had a great time. He spent a weekend with me and I really enjoyed getting to know more about him. He had planned to visit me for Xmas then 4 days before his trip he cancelled out and he just stopped bothering with me. TO THIS DAY I still dont know why or what happened. HE never even bothered to explain ANYTHING to me.
Then you get the guys who pull the carrot out in front of you the way you try to get a horse to do what you want. You put the carrot in front of the horse's face just far enough so you get the horse to go where you want. When the horse responds you pull the carrot away. In other words, you get the guys who say all the right stuff and do all the right moves and they give you some time but when you respond and you begin to move toward them they back away but if you back away too much they then move BACK toward you to suck you back in. You go thru this push pull thing and they KNOW the game they are playing. Thankfully I am smart enough to see it FAST. I end up shoving the carrot in them where the sun dont shine, pull it out then force them to eat it.
Then there are the guys in open relationships who want you as booty call. Jesus Christ I am 53 years old!! BOOTY CALL?? MAN I think I am worth more than that. I dont understand the point of being IN a relationship and then screwing around with everyone else as if you are single..Whats the point? Again I dont get it.
Then you have the total OPPOSITE extreme. The guys who want INSTANT relationship. Add 2 dates and yer ready for move in condition. They are in love with the idea of being in love but you cant love someone you dont take the time to get to know. I have run into that 7 different times with men who wanted to be totally involved after 1 week or after one weekend or after 1 night..again I dont get this one at all....
I really feel that I will be single for the rest of my life. Every time I felt that there was hope with a guy I met, the rug wasnt pulled out from under me it was YANKED out.
Heres the REALLY F*cked up part. When I meet someone and I treat them like shit, they follow me around like sick puppy dogs but when I treat them with interest and attention, they run away. The meaner I am TO them the more they come after me...I dont get it.
Yeah I am staying single.. I'll get laid on my terms but am not investing any of my time in anyone. ITs just not worth it...and its not worth my energy. The way I was raised as a leatherboy doesnt exist anymore. What I want doesnt exist anymore. Its all a BIG free for all game that I dont want to play. I understand that there will always be change but not all change is for the better..IT is what it is..and as for me I dont like at all the WAY it is..I guess I just cant accept the fact that theres NO ONE out there who feels remotely as I do. HOWEVER, nothing out there that I have seen in these past 3 years has even remotely come close to proving I am wrong.


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